Hi, Internet Friends.

I tend to babble on about my wack-ass hormones pretty frequently on Jez because, well, when is it not apropos to babble about such things (especially underneath that cozy ol' quilt that is internet anonymity)?

Thing is, though, I got off hormonal birth control damn near a year ago—10 months—and I am still acting like a batshit crazy person. I'm not a batshit crazy person (I don't think? But at what point does this stop being a condition and just becomes who you are, you know?). I have terrible mood swings, I get bloated at random intervals, sometimes my response to chocolate ingestion is, like, orgasmic—but I basically don't get periods. I haven't had one in four months, and prior to that it had been three months, and before that it had been a few more. I would be all for the no-periods plan if it were something under my control, but I feel like my ovaries are just running amok because they've been under the iron-fisted control of Ortho Tricyclen-Lo for the last seven years.

I am definitely not pregnant, but definitely am under tremendous stress (I work in litigation, go to a competitive university, regularly watch my checking account dwindle into the single digits, and have periods on an apparently quarterly basis—which means that pregnancy scares occur pretty much biweekly). My health is otherwise solid: no weight gain or loss; normal sleeping patterns (well, I'm always exhausted but I'm pretty sure that's just because I don't sleep during the semester); I exercise regularly and eat reasonably well (also, vitamins).

So, what gives?

I know that this is a question best posed to a physician, but it turns out that student health insurance isn't awesome. So can anyone who has dealt with this (or happens to have an MD) give insight? I have some white maca that my holistic-health-loving man recommended. But is there anything else I can try? I'm sort of desperate.

Advertisement