ETA: Thank you all for your responses. I am immensely appreciative for all your thoughts and advice and commiseration. I had another emotional call with him tonight. He isn't re-thinking things, but he does seem to care that I am dying inside. The timing of everything - his moving, my breakthroughs - is just fucking tragic, really.
I know that the answer is just to give it time, but I am increasingly succumbing to massive feelings of heartbreak over my impending divorce. My ex has now moved across the country, with another woman that he claims he loves (after less than 3 months and never having even lived in the same state yet). I cycle through feelings of overwhelming sorrow that he is gone and huge hurt that he moved on so quickly with someone who is completely my opposite - which plays on all the insecurities I ever had in the relationship and makes me feel hugely insignificant and small that it only took him 3 weeks to find someone after 12 years with me.
I am left with the breakthroughs regarding our communications and dynamics that I have had in therapy, which would have allowed me and him to actually address what was happening between us, which just makes it all the more painful that he has already moved on and has no interest in trying to work it out because he thinks we just need to move on. He insists that I wanted the divorce, I keep telling him that I just wanted space to figure it, which I now have.
So now he is gone, and I don't want this divorce. I can't even wrap my head around the fact that in just over 3 months we went from being married and trying to work it out to this. I can't focus on anything and I pretty much just sit at my desk crying most of the time lately.
Any words of wisdom, meditations, whatever has gotten you through these types of situations, would be hugely appreciated right now.