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On the First Day of Nuvaring, an Excerpt from Fellowology's Visit

me, talking into my darkened bedroom at my not-quite-asleep boyfriend's back: "I'm scared of putting this Nuvaring thing in. It sounds weird, and I'm scared of it. I think I'll go read the info packet obsessively about 15 times."

Fellowology, mumbling: "Aww. Well take it out of the fridge first so it's not uncomfortably cold."


me: "That's brilliant! Thank you so much. You're wonderful."

Fellowology: "Maybe warm it up in your armpit first."

me: "That is...less helpful advice. But thank you for the first suggestion."

Upshot: he's a better resource than I'd expect, but not adequate.

Illustration for article titled On the First Day of Nuvaring, an Excerpt from Fellowologys Visit

What is any of the awful nonsense in this diagram? I am literally so tired of having a vagina and all of the maintenance and bullshit it requires. The only positive thing that it has ever resulted in is a life partnership with Fellowology. And his "let it come to room temperature first" tip, while helpful, doesn't justify his existence enough to make having to do this acceptable. Argh.

Anyone have any tips for this thing? I'm not crazy about having things in my body that are not Fellowology. I don't use tampons, and I don't use my vibrator internally. So, this is way outside my comfort zone, or my comfort ring I guess. But the Pill didn't work for me, period. Or for my period, come to think of it, so here we are. I hope somebody has some words of wisdom or reassurance. I'm regretting being talked into this just because I thought I was too vigorous a washer for the patch, and it seemed like a bad choice on the cusp of summer.


Random side-note: I had a chat a while back with a local GTer over beers about going on Nuvaring, and she shared that for her it had been a positive experience. However, a sex partner of hers had noticed it at some point and asked her whether it was a diaphragm. He asked whether a giant ring that consisted of nothing more than an enormous hole around one's cervix was a diaphragm. She was basically like, "are you fucking kidding me?" So as intimidated as I am in this moment, at least I can look at that cross-section of female anatomy and not confuse it with a Cubist painting. What exactly are they teaching men about anatomy?


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