TW: sexual abuse
The way the media has been covering this story has been incredibly upsetting and disturbing. From that Daily Beast story, to Barbara Walter yesterday on the View, to waking up this morning and having to listen to a statement from Woody's attorney in his defense on the Today Show, I'm done. I feel sick. I realize that being tried in the court of public opinion might not be fair - people who can never hope to have all of the facts will come to their own conclusion about you and what happened - but let's not forget that it isn't just Mr. Allen who is being tried publicly. Dylan is, too. Why are so many so quick to jump to this man's defense and so easily cast aspersions on Dylan's character and credibility? Because he's up for an award or two? Because Mia Farrow, and by extension Dylan, are spiteful and hateful and they want to come rain on his parade? Could it not be that the accusations are true? Might that be a better explanation for the understandable and deserved anger directed at Mr. Allen?
This morning, Mr. Allen's lawyer cited that this case was no longer even "a case" because it was dismissed over 20 years ago. So, essentially this should be done and over with and we shouldn't be having this conversation. But, let me tell you, 80 years could pass and as a survivor of sexual abuse as a small child, it doesn't even begin to mitigate the pain. Time does not heal all wounds. I recently thought back to a poem I learned as a child. The first stanza goes:
Drop a pebble in the water:just a splash, and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples
Circling on and on and on,
Spreading, spreading from the center,flowing on out to the sea.
And there is no way of tellingwhere the end is going to be.
My experience of sexual abuse as a child only lasted for a little over a year, from ages 4-5, just a splash in the relative length of my life. But the effects of that abuse still linger and are still palpable. There is no part of my life that has not been touched by the abuse or the effects of the abuse. And I doubt there ever will be. And sometimes one of those ripples crashes against some new obstacle, and the ripples grow and reverberate back again, perpetuating the process.
I image that anytime Dylan has to hear his name or see his face, it is like those little rippling waves of pain wash over her again. I doubt that time has served to heal her wounds. She has every right to be angry with Woody Allen and the community that would support and venerate him at her expense. This man no longer deserves a platform and I wish we wouldn't continue to give him one.