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Welcome To The Bitchery

On the menu this week!

(weight stuff)

Many of y'all are aware I am trying to get healthy after a really rapid weight gain. I have been crowdsourcing ideas from you lovely folk, and just figured I'd share what I've got planned out for this week. (One of my big challenges has been skipping meals and getting too wrapped up in my somewhat chaotic schedule to feed myself regularly. Turns out, that makes you gain weight. So hooray, planning). "Recipes" (ehm, as much as I can keep track) down below.



Like last week, mini-frittattas (all measured out!), some cereal. Planning on making granola bars today or tomorrow to break up the monotony and have something measured out!



Sandwiches or salads! Right now, I'm powering through some mustard-based chicken salad. Because I need starch, too, I either eat a few crackers if I have a salad, or I put some hominy or other starchy veggie on it. I've got some steak to cook later in the week on my brand new grill (muahahaha), so I will be eating some steak and bleu cheese sandwiches/salads.


After crowdsourcing about some veggie soup recipes, I landed on a green soup packed with veggies. It seems to be an efficient way to get them veggies, and there is no limit because I made the soup with no fats, starches, protein, anything. It is simply a side item.


Once the green soup runs out, I have carrots on deck for a carrot-ginger soup.


Yesterday, crockpotted some beans, stew beef, sweet potatoes, and chiles to make this awesome chili. I can only eat a small portion of this. I thought it would be easier to measure, but the meat shredded and the sweet potatoes are the same brown color as everything so I am sort of guessing with it. However, it is really filling. We had a little wild rice, and a big ol salad with it.


On the menu maybe tonight - grilled salmon with kale and sweet potatoes. Shrimp and grits later in the week. Leftovers, otherwise.


I'm still not really into the snacking but I'm doing my minimum amount, which is a starch and a protein or a fat (as long as there is protein involved - like peanut butter). It's been crackers and mozzarella or crackers and peanut butter. I'm getting sick of this so I need to figure something new out.


In case your're interested...


Note: I am not a recipe person. This is the best I can do. The last ingredient to all of these is "good instincts."


Egg Muffin Pan Frittatta Things

One egg per

Chicken broth


Grape tomatoes

Little bit of shredded sharp cheddar

In each individual muffin cup, whisked (with a fork) a tiny splash of chicken broth - fill no more than 2/3 way. Stir in veggies, sprinkle cheddar on top. (the cheese set me over just a tad on the protein because I was miscalculating, so now I am eating one-and-a-half of these. Next batch will likely not include cheese).


Granola Bars

Adapted from this recipe. I can't eat nuts and I need to get more fruit (which I'm not real into) so I plan on putting fresh blueberries in there. Because this is higher in fat than I am supposed to get for breakfast, I plan on skimping on fat at lunch or doing protein instead of fat for a snack later on, the days I have this.


Chicken Salad

Chicken thighs + chicken breasts, crock-potted slowly and shredded (I use a little chicken broth, sprinkle with cayenne, lemon pepper, and a shitload of cumin)


Green peppers

1/2 jalapeno (because I had 1/2 jalapeno lying around)

Red onion

Thinly sliced carrots

Shitload pickles

Dressing: Creole mustard, TEENY BIT of God's Condiment (mayo), curry powder, dried dill weed, cayenne, cumin, and apple cider vinegar as needed to get it moistened up.


Crock Pot Beans+Beef+Sweet Potato Chili

I want to recognize that the term "chili" is technically reserved for a Texas meatsplosion, so this is why I am putting the beans in the title, so you all know I'm a chili-imposter.


1 yellow onion, sliced

2 large sweet potatoes, cubed

2 lbs (or so) beef stew meat, trimmed of fat

1/2 c red wine

1/2 jalapeno (optional - full disclosure: it turns out pretty spicy)

About 6 cups beef broth

2 cups dried black beans

3 chilis in adobo sauce, with a few spoonfuls of the sauce thrown in

Shitload cumin

Shitload paprika

I know it halfway defeats the purpose of a crock pot, but I am a big fan of browning in skillet first. I did: cooking spray at a high temp, searing the meat, dropping the temp and throwing a splash in of red wine. Same for sweet potatoes, same for onions - except that I did the onions at a lower temp. Cooked on high for 6 hours. I was at work so I had Boyancé on hand to be on moisture watch, since dried beans can eat up all the water. He never needed to add any, though.


Green Soup

Inspired by this recipe posted by PeachyWithASideofKeen, but it ended up being completely...different. Starting with how I couldn't find arugula on Sunday.


2 heads broccoli

2 summer squashes

1 zucchini

3 carrots

1/2 yellow onion

unmeasured amount of kale, haha

shitload fresh garlic

however much chicken broth it took to cover the veggies

Lemon pepper

Entire bag (maybe 8 cups?) baby spinach leaves

1/4 cup lemon juice

Put in everything except spinach and lemon juice. Crock pot for 6 hours on low (I have two crock pots!). Then put everything in a blender in batches, and blend the lemon juice and spinach leaves into it. Add more hot chicken broth if desired. Mine is pretty thick but that's what I wanted.


I love my immersion blender, but I find that doing it the pain in the ass way in a regular blender gets you a creamier soup.

Carrot-Lime-Ginger Soup

Shitload carrots, peeled & cubed


Rice wine



Soy sauce

Chicken broth

Juice of two limes

1 tbsp of grated fresh ginger if you're a regular person, probably 3x that much if you're me


Roast carrots w/ cooking spray, and salt and pepper at 375 until half done. However long that is. Meanwhile, sautee celery and onions and garlic until soft. Use rice wine to deglaze. Put everything in a pot except lime juice and cilantro. Cook until cooked. Puree, with lime juice and cilantro.

I plan on drizzling sesame oil over it when I eat, if I have room for fat in my day!

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