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Mr Cat's Pyjamas and I are in a relatively young relationship (just over a year), but we both really hope and plan to be together for a long, long time to come. One of the things we're really looking forward to being able to do together is travel. I haven't travelled a lot yet, and though he has, of course he's up for more. We have a couple of trips that we'd like to do in the not too distant future, and I'm really looking forward to doing them.
Any time we talk about possible trips around his parents, his mom is immediately like, "Yeah! Let's go!". She and Mr C's Ps are really close (not in a weird way), make good travelling buddies, and therefore up until this point they've taken quite a few trips together. So it makes sense that she would want to keep doing that. I get that. But. BUT. A couple of things. First, these are trips that I want to do with just Mr C's Ps. We've only done short weekend road trips together up until now, and I want use to be able to go away, further away, for longer, just the two of us. Second, it hurts my feelings when, seeing the strained look on my face, his mom's response is, "Of course you'd be welcome to come too! It's just that M C's Ps and I get along so well when we travel." Um, this was a trip that Mr C's Ps and I were planning! I'm not the one edging my way in here!
I don't want to portray his mom in a negative light. She's really lovely, funny, kind, and has been so welcoming to me. I generally feel like I've won the partner's parents jackpot. And I know she's not purposely trying to take things over or to make me feel left out. I remember once, even, when she and Mr C's Ps and his dad and I were talking about travel in general, and he and his dad both said they wanted to go to Vegas someday and I said I really didn't. And in the same conversation I said that I'd never been to New York but would like to go someday. And her solution was that Mr C's Ps and his dad would go to Vegas, and the two of us would go to New York at the same time, someday. So again, she's a super nice, welcoming lady.
Anyway, Mr C's Ps and I talked about it later, and he told me about how his mom is often a bit obtuse and tends to have a bit of foot-in-mouth disorder and also to invite herself along places. He told her he'd be clear with her that the trip we had been talking about was just for the two of us. And he said that he wouldn't actually want to travel with both she and I, because he feels like his attentions would be too divided and he'd be exhausted and not have any fun (he's quite introverted). But he also pointed out that it's important to him that he still take trips with his mom sometimes. And I totally get that.
So I guess my question is, have any of you guys dealt with something similar before? And also, what if there's a trip that I really want to take with him that he and his mom plan to take together first? I feel like that would be really disappointing, and I wouldn't know what to do.