It's Galentine's Day, and in honor of the occasion, I'm serving a list of television and film's best depictions of female friends and frenemies, in descending order of the completely arbitrary and entirely variable criteria of how much I envy their womance.
60. Helen and Madeline, Death Becomes Her.
This friendship was founded on a mutual desire to destroy one another, but these ladies eventually hung up their grudge and painted each other's asses for an eternity.
59. Heather C., Heather D., Heather M., and Veronica, Heathers.
"I just killed my best friend!" "And your worst enemy." "Same difference."
58. Sookie and Tara, True Blood.
Sookie put misters before sisters, and in return, Tara took a bullet in the head to save Sookie's life. Sookie's the worst.
57. Regina, Gretchen, Karen, and Cady, Mean Girls.
On Wednesdays, they wear pink. On Thursdays, they destroy each other.
56. Quinn, Sandy, Tiffany, and Stacy, Daria.
55. Brenda and Kelly, Beverly Hills 90210.
Kelly slept with her best friend's first love, showed virtually no remorse, and is therefore dead to me. Oh, and Brenda wore it better.
54. Lisa and Suzanne, Girl Interrupted.
Sometimes what's needed from a friend is a challenge, someone to hold up a mirror, whether or not you like what you see.
53. Sarah, Bonnie, Rochelle, and Nancy, The Craft.
It takes a special bond to invoke the spirit, but true friends should be able to express discontent without things getting quite so murderous.
52. Juliet and Pauline, Heavenly Creatures.
Their creative symbiosis was magical. And also, unfortunately, matricidal.
51. Angela and Rayanne, My So-Called Life.
the evil devil tramp Kelly Taylor, Rayanne was seemed to understand not only the magnitude of her wrongdoing, but the importance of what she'd lost. If only we'd been able to see what kind of healing a second season may have brought for these two.
50. Lindsey and Kim, Freaks and Geeks.
49. Enid and Rebecca, Ghost World.
48. Kelly, Jessie, and Lisa, Saved By The Bell.
These three were often quick to bond over spandex and choreography or a scheme to teach the boys a lesson, but their friendship seemed born more from convenience than genuine affection.
47. DJ and Kimmy, Full House.
I cannot truly covet the company of Kimmy Gibbler or Donna Jo Tanner, but they seemed to enjoy themselves. Plus, they are still IRL besties, and that's just too cute for words.
46. Tracy and Penny, Hairspray.
45. Jennie and Emma, Kate and Allie.
While their titular moms were a bit of an odd couple, these two got along like gangbusters.
44. Blossom and Six, Blossom.
43. Lavinia and Suzette, The Banger Sisters.
42. Vivi, Necie, Teensy, and Caro, Divine Secrets of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood.
It's an extraordinary friend who goes above and beyond to heal the fractures of your family wounds and can tell your life story with empathy and compassion, although we're never quite told what Vivi's done to deserve it.
41. Mary and Rhoda, The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
40. J and Cece, Awkward Black Girl.
Cece is practically a perfect sidekick, but J will have to learn a few things about reciprocity if she wants a higher ranking.
39. Rizzo, Frenchie, Marty, and Jan, Grease.
38. Nomi and Molly, Showgirls.
Molly was always there with a place to stay, a dress to borrow, or effusive nail art admiration. Nomi's always there to introduce you to the man of your dreams and beat him senseless when he turns out to be a nightmare.
37. Suyuan, Lindo, Ying Ying, and An Mei, The Joy Luck Club.
36. Punky and Cherie, Punky Brewster.
35. Maddy, Legs, Rita, Goldie, and Violet, Foxfire.
34. Hillary and CC, Beaches.
Why these two are friends, I'll never understand,
especially after one of them pulled a Kelly Taylor but nursing someone through terminal illness counts for a lot.
33. Elise, Brenda, and Annie, The First Wives Club.
Death and revenge isn't the best reason for a reunion, but it's a start.
32. Annie and Lillian, Bridesmaids.
31. Natalie and Tootie, The Facts of Life.
30. Cher and Dionne, Clueless.
29. Laverne and Shirley,Laverne and Shirley.
28. Betsy and Arlene, Dick.
27. Maxine and Khadijah, Living Single.
26. Thelma and Louise, Thelma and Louise.
I think this entry is required by law.
25. Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha, Sex and the City.
This one too.
24. Jane and Helen, Jane Eyre.
23. Evelyn and Ninny, Fried Green Tomatoes.
22. M'Lynn, Truvy, Ouiser, and Clairee, Steel Magnolias.
21. Ruth and Bettina, Six Feet Under.
20. Lauren and Lo, The Hills.
Sometimes you need that one sane friend to show up, vindicate your belief that everyone you know is crazy, and mock that other friend's annoying boyfriend.
19. Tibby and Carmen, The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants.
Yes, this is a blatant dig at Blake Lively and Alexis Bledel.
18. Maria and Anita, West Side Story.
17. Mae and Doris, A League of Their Own.
16. Angela and Sharon, My So-Called Life.
The best of friends have not only seen you change, they've let you change. And they also give non-judgmental sex advice.
15. Mary and Cassandra, Saved!
14. Muriel and Rhonda, Muriel's Wedding.
Sometimes a friend can push you out of comfort zone and help you discover that life can be better than an ABBA song. Better even than Dancing Queen.
13. Courtney and Christina, The Sweetest Thing.
12. Lucy and Ethel, I Love Lucy.
11. Idgy and Ruth, Fried Green Tomatoes.
10. Taystee and Poussey, Orange Is The New Black.
9. Nicole and Jenni, The Jersey Shore/Snooki & JWoww.
These two are loyal as bulldogs, their infant daughters were born two months apart, and they're best friends too.
8. Benny and Eve, Circle of Friends.
But not that goddamn Kelly Tayloring Nan!
7. Daria and Jane, Daria.
It's a momentous thing when you find that special person who hates all the same things you do.
6. Romy and Michele, Romy and Michele's High School Reunion.
5. Celie and Shug, The Color Purple.
4. Patsy and Edina, Absolutely Fabulous.
3. Abbi and Ilana, Broad City.
2. Leslie and Anne, Parks and Recreation.
1. Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and Sophia, The Golden Girls.
Best friends humor your crazy schemes and support you in your darkest hours. They give as good as they get, accept you at your worst, inspire you to your best, challenge you when you're wrong, defend you when you're right, and are always there to laugh, to listen, and choreograph dance routines. So here's to the ladies in your life who do that best! Happy Galentine's Day! Have some cheesecake.