Most likely because I’ve got huge relationship avoidance / aversion personality disorder. Like, I haven’t been in a relationship in 8 years and only a smattering of dates since then. I just can’t seem to muster very much enthusiasm for dating or getting involved IRL. Just seems like to much hassle.
So, I just develop crushes on men who are either married or completely inappropriate for me. I can deal. This time it’s one of the trainers at my gym. Now, I do go to the gym partly for the eye candy. And of course, it’s not the first time I’ve ogled a trainer/coach.
However this time I’m really a dirty old lady : he’s 23 (?) ... and I’m 46. O.o
OTOH, I’ve been way more motivated to workout and work out hard, so there’s that! lol.