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oral sex: am I a jerk?

I was reading through the mainpage comments on the oral sex post, and they seem to be trending in the direction that the woman probably has very good reasons for not wanting to go down on him and he's a jerk for asking and should stop trying to pressure her and not every sex act has to be a part of every couple's relationship.

So, I guess I have a question.

I've been with my boyfriend for six months, and in that time, he has gone down on me three times. Once was the second night we were together, in early April. Then there was nothing until early June, when he asked if he could shave my ladybits and promised that "the fact that we're doing this right now is going to be really good for you." He went down on me two days a row, which was great—but never a single time in the four months since.


I've asked him to a five or six times, and he's said sure, sure. Then nothing. I've kept things relatively bare down there in the hopes that it might entice him. Nothing. He's said if he's going to he prefers it to be soon after a shower, so I sometimes switch my morning showers for evening ones. No dice. In desperation, I've asked several times if I taste unpleasant to him; he says no. And yet, despite my having told him that I'm getting a complex about it (and that it taps into feelings from of not being desired from my former marriage) he has not gone down on me in four months.

He still gets me off manually, although he only ever touches my clit and completely neglects the rest of me even though I have told him this makes me feel like he isn't actually attracted to my body. I keep trying to imagine his side of things, but since he claimed in the beginning that he likes giving oral sex, every reason I can come up with makes me feel terrible about my body. At this point, I want to oral less for its own sake and more just for what it represents.


So, in light of the mainpage discussion, I guess my question is: am I the jerk here for being upset that he won't do it? Should I just accept that he doesn't feel like going down on me ever for whatever reason and make my peace because that's his prerogative and I would be an asshole to make lack of oral a dealbreaker? I just keep thinking that if he were into something and it wasn't actively abhorrent to me, I'd do it even if it wasn't my favorite because I want to make him happy. But maybe that's the wrong attitude to take since I'm getting all insecure and resentful. Talk some sense into me, guys.

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