I just found out from a close friend that apparently my former roommate Dan is now on the run. He apparently had not paid rent in 15 months and his current roommates (including one of my other former roommates, Josh) found this out when the landlady showed up trying to serve him with a lien. Josh immediately called Dan to tell him he needed to get home, at which point Dan said, "sure, I'll be there in five minutes," then turned off his phone and disappeared. He apparently came back at 3 AM, grabbed whatever small things he could carry, locked his door from the inside and went out through his window (which is a bit of a mystery, since how the hell did he fit through that damn window?).
In the aftermath, his now-former roommates have discovered that apparently he was guilty of at least $60,000 in check fraud and owes the IRS $200,000, along with God only knows how much credit card fraud was going on (and apparently there was a lot of it).
Also apparently, and I am going to give a TMI WARNING IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, SERIOUSLY IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ SOMETHING GROSS PLEASE STOP NOW, when they finally got access to his room they found an anal vibrator in a corner of the floor. Ok, um...alright...but then when they checked his nightstand drawer, they found DOZENS of dildos. My friend made it very clear that it wasn't one or two or three, but a veritable cascade of plastic dicks...all of which were, to use my friend's colorful descriptor, "crusty."
On the plus side...I might be getting his Xbox for like $50, so...silver lining?