Went pretty well, I think.
We’d been planning on just meeting at his house, going to dinner, and then watching netflix or a movie, but he asked me in the middle of the day if I’d be willing to meet at a restaurant halfway between his place and mine for dinner instead. It ended up being the same restaurant we’d had our first date at back in March. I found it odd that he’d wanted to switch plans mid day, but after all of our discussion about taking things slow and not diving straight into sex for awhile, I figured it was probably a good thing that we didn’t end up back at his place.
Dinner was fine. It was actually a little shy and awkward to be honest, but I’m going to go ahead and assume that that’s normal. I admitted to him that I’d been feeling a tiny bit nervous about it, almost like a normal first date and not a date with someone I’ve known for five years, had sex with, been on two vacations with, and whose mother I’ve met a number of times. When he gets nervous or insecure he jokes around in this certain way and will tease/rib me, and I gently/jokingly called him out on it. He kind of smiled and softened up at that point and said “This is a little weird, just because we haven’t spent any time together at all in two months. This is going to take some getting used to, but that’s okay. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I don’t know what this is going to look like going forward, but I’m happy right now, being here with you. This is relaxing. I like this.” Then he reached across and held my hands and looked into my eyes and I feel like we probably sat there like that for half an hour.
He walked me out to my car, hugged me tight for a long time, we made out for a few minutes, and it was intense. Nothing quite like that familiarity of someone you already have established chemistry with. I was really glad at that point that we didn’t meet at his house, because I absolutely would have wanted to go to bed with him then. But, I really don’t think sex is a good idea for a little bit. We talked about that on the phone a few days ago, that anything sexual needs to stay on the back burner until we are absolutely ready from an emotional stand point. I want to know that I’m safe in this and that we have a solid foundation before we take that leap.
So, that’s the story of last night. I am just trying to manage my expectations a little bit. It’s not going to be like last time were things were so intense and we got so enmeshed so quickly. Also, grad school is going to eat his time up, and my classes start tomorrow, so I’m going to be preoccupied as well. Hopefully I just won’t have the time to overthink this.