I slept funny on a funny mattress with funny pillows. I woke up and literally could not move my head side to side or up (down is mostly okay) without excruciating pain. And I swear I’m not a huge pain baby.

Please send help. Does anyone have recommendations? I already tried salonpas and all it gave me was a severe burning sensation and not any pain relief. I don’t have anything stronger than Advil. Chiropractors and acupuncturists are closed today. I might die. (I probably won’t die.)