The husband is away on dork business.

He left work early and took the long way to avoid roads that are full of deer. He called about half an hour ago to let me know he was almost there and all was well.

He called again five minutes ago to say, "Hey ... so ... I actually hit a deer." He is, apparently, ok, but his car is not. He called me before authorities or AAA or whatever it is you're supposed to do when you hit a deer.

Intellectually, I know this was to calm himself down but emotionally WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK, YOU HIT A DEER ARE YOU OK GET OFF THE PHONE AND GET THIS TAKEN CARE OF PLEASE BE SAFE AND NOT FINANCIALLY DEVASTATING OHMYGOD. GLAD YOU'RE OK BUT NOW I'M DECIDEDLY NOT.

I forgot to ask how the deer was holding up.