All is not well in PewPewPew-land, and my anxiety is making it all worse.
I got fired. Again. For the second time in 6 months. For getting bronchitis/sinusitis and taking a week off work.
And because 6 month probation periods seem to be standard in Australia, I just got thrown out on my ass with no notice and no pay out.
I am having a breakdown, and panicking about EVERYTHING.
Rent and bills are paid for the next month. But after that... I’m fucked. I have a $270 fine to pay by Friday, for accidentally using a senior’s travel pass on the train, which was an honest fucking mistake.
Tex’s work hours have been cut back, he’s barely going to make rent this month.
I can no longer afford to pay the visa application fee for me to move to the U.S. in a few months’ time, and the longer we leave it the longer we’ll have to be long distance, which is going to suck.
And also, I AM FREAKING OUT ABOUT MOVING TO THE U.S.!!!
It sounds scary there guys. The healthcare system seems totally fucked, the economy is functioning very erratically. I will be taking a massive pay cut at any job I get over there. I don’t have a college degree, which hasn’t been a huge hurdle here due to my great work experience, but seems to matter a lot more over there.
But mainly, I am genuinely so scared of losing everything because of a medical emergency. It’s been eating away at me for a couple of weeks now.
I get sick a LOT, I go to the doctor like once a month. I’m forever having blood tests, MRIs etc. And in Australia, it’s all heavily subsidised. In New Zealand, it’s FREE. In the UK,FREE.
I’m basically mentally flailing my arms and running around in circles.
Thanks for reading my ramblings. I just needed to get it all out of my head.