I was honestly going to read Teachers Must Wear Panties but got no further than wondering, "What if I don't want to wear panties? What if I want to wear underpants?"
I really, really HATE the word "panties," people. It's simpering, pandering, infantilizing (for reasons I'm not even sure I can explain, other than making it a diminutive of the less-childish British-ism "pants" somehow makes it 80 million times more annoying), and honestly, it just grates on my nerves.
I don't wear panties. I wear undies, chonies, pants, underwear, underpants, the occasional thong, and bloomers.
Not all at once, of course, because that would be overkill.