So this week has been rough for various reasons. Today I really wanted cake. Then suddenly cake appeared at work and I was so happy!... But there were strings attached. Strings all up in my chocolate cake. How cruel!
I was half an hour from finishing my shift when a customer comes over and says "we're having a party and you look like you've had a hard day. Want some birthday cake?" And of course I'm like "cheah!" And I was so happy and thanked him up and down and started to walk away with my cake when he said "I'll be back to check on you."
What was I to do? I waited until my break to eat the cake and he came and found me and tried to ask me out. And it was really hard not to, you guys. Not because I was attracted to him (I wasn't), not because I was intimidated (he was very sweet), but because he gave me cake! I almost went to a wedding with a creepy old chef because i was broke and starving and he offered to feed me. Then when I told him I was so so busy that I didn't have time to ever go out ever he offered to cook me food and bring food to my work! Free food is my kryptonite :(
I didn't really feel obligated to go out with him because when someone gives you cake the only thing you have to do is say thank you, but I did feel obligated to let him talk at me... And boy did he talk!! I finally gave him my fb, which is littered with the corpses of men who wanted to be "friends" (mwahahahaha), but despite that I feel a little guilty and bad for him, but only kinda cuz no one made him give me that cake.
This, my friends, is the patriarchal bargain. In order to succeed in this world (or even survive), we women must do things we'd sometimes rather not do, like wear makeup for an interview or heels to an audition, or let people talk at us when they give you cake.
I have failed as a feminist. But at least I am a failed feminist with a belly full of cake.