I have moved to a new area recently-ish, and only have a few friends here. I called one of them today, my best friend here - let's call him Simon - and he got off the phone with me rudely, ASAP. I know he's super stressed out, finishing his dissertation for his PhD, but he's just never been that way with me before. Then I texted another friend who was like, "Hey! Awesome to hear from you! Come out to a movie with me! I'm going with Your Former Crush, Your Mentor, and afterward we're having drinks with Simon!" I said sure, yeah, great, count me in, but then about 15 minutes later I started sobbing and I don't think I'll go.

I'm not usually this sensitive, I don't think. No, it's not That Time of the Month. I just feel like the uncool kid who gets left out of all the plans.

In other news: I had been a somewhat active (depending on how busy I am) OK Cupid user / dater, but it has been really sucky in New City. Why, just today I received a notification that Handsome User had "liked" my profile. I send him a short, witty message. He messages back, short & witty. After a few more brief, witty exchanges, I ask if he'd like to grab a drink sometime. Aaaaaaand he vanishes. So like half an hour later (I see he's still online, answering questions and whatnot, so it's not like he got busy), I write back, "Or not; it's cool." but I'm really annoyed. There are not a whole lot of prospects in New City; it's rather too conservative for me. Lately I've been thinking that I will be celibate forever here.

I deactivated my account (ok I did this recently, but after a couple weeks I went back to it), and decided that I have to flirt with actual men in actual real life. Which is terrifying! I'm also not that confident about my looks. My face is pretty, but I'm chubby and I never get hit on lately.

Who cares, I probably won't be here forever, right? Except that I work really hard and then when it's time to play... crickets.

Argh argh argh.