How do you all feel about unsolicited graphic images of people?
Not great right? It's not a great feeling to open up a picture expecting to see something innocuous and instead be met with a boner?
BACKGROUND! A few weeks ago I went to an AFL game with my friend and her family. It was my first time meeting them, and they all share the irreverent sense of humour that made me fall in friend-love with this girl. Friend and I are really close, we lived together in London, and I've been spending a lot of time with her.
Her older brother was there, same pushing boundaries constant dirty joke telling sense of humour. I can give as good as I get and we got along immediately.
He had broken up with his girlfriend just a few days prior, proceeded to get reeeaaalllyy drunk, and by the time the 3 of us (dropped the parents home) went out for drinks after the game, he was sloppy, slurry wasted, and clearly wanted to get laid.
He came onto me a lot, was really pushy, and even grabbed me and kissed me TWICE, and kept pushing me to go home with him. I felt really uncomfortable, but I laughed it off, and put it down to him being so wasted, and lonely.
We've met twice since, at family events, and he messages me every day, friendly enough. But I'm super defensive with him, I can't do the banter, I can't do the dirty jokes, I don't want him to sexualise me, even in a joking way.
Last night, was our third meeting. He was sitting next to me at a dinner he had organised. I asked to see pictures of his daughter, and he obliged. We scrolled through his phone. Scroll. Cute kid. Scroll. Cute kid. Scroll. PEEN.
I felt so violated. I'm pretty sure he knew that was what was coming, and just wanted to have a laugh, but I was really upset. I didn't shout at him, but I covered my face and freaked out for a minute, then was a bit "off" with him for the rest of the evening. And everyone at the table, including his parents, laughed at me for overreacting.
I don't think I overreacted. That's not ok to do to someone. Right? I mean that's sexual harassment at the very least!
I'm spending Christmas with this family. I love my friend to pieces, and I will be seeing this guy around a lot. I need him to start seeing me as a platonic friend and I have no idea how to go about it.
Anyway, just needed to tell someone that wouldn't judge me. Thanks for reading.