I’m thinking of scheduling an intervention.

This past weekend, a few were to go apple picking and make pie, partially for pie, partially to make pie for “perpetually late friend” (PLF) since it was her birthday. She’s the one who wanted to go, choose the spot, about an hour outside the city, we agreed on a time to all meet together at a friend’s (not her’s) house a couple of weeks ago.

For an overview of her past behaviour, see this post:

This trip was also a potential opportunity for some of my friends to meet and get to know my new boyfriend (eeeeep! I have a new boyfriend, I haven’t written that in 7+ years, but I digress). It was up in the air until the day of if he could come or not, but literally right before I was about to leave to go pick up this friend, he texts me that he can come. Both he and I rush so that I can go pick him up (I’m driving) and go pick up PLF in a reasonable time frame. Due to how fast it all happened, he didn’t eat lunch.

So we get to PLF’s place at 1pm, the designated time. I call her, text her. Then ring her doorbell, over and over again, trying to let her know that we’re downstairs. 15 minutes go by, 30 minutes go by. We’re yelling up to her apartment window, banging on the door (the downstairs one, not her front door), ringing the doorbell. New Boyfriend goes around to see if there’s an access from a fire escape. There isn’t. I’m getting worried. After an hour, she finally buzzes us in.

She had been asleep. And woke up because we were banging/kocking etc. Her phone had died overnight and she hadn’t woken up.

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Ok, you are a grown-ass woman of 32. You full well know that we’re going apple picking, and you fucking overslept?!?! Until 2pm?

The other people that we were going with called me and suggested we work around her delay by not meeting up beforehand and meeting at the place. I wasn’t supposed to drive, so I asked where the orchard was. PLF knows cause she’s the one that choose. When she’s finally ready, I ask her where we’re going. She doesn’t know how to get there, only has the address, on her phone...which is dead.

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And so I did this:

New Boyfriend was starving, I was über pissed, and so I told her that I wasn’t going. She’d have to call her friends and arrange for them to come pick her up. Me and New Boyfriend were going to stay in town and go have lunch.

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I can’t get over how rude she was. You can’t fucking wake up for something you had planned for weeks for YOU because YOU wanted to go.

I can’t even.

Thankfully, New Boyfriend and I went to lunch and then back to my place, and I just took out all my frustrations with super hot sex. It ended up being a lovely day.

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Feel free to share your equally infuriating stories of late-ness and I will happily commiserate with you.