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Personal/Professional/Talent Courtesies - Can I Vent/Rant? (Vant?)

As a hobby, I design stationery. Invitations are my thing, and I've made some really awesome ones in the past (if I do say so myself), particularly for Halloween, since Mr. Farce and I have a Halloween Bash every year. I've toyed with the idea of making it a hobbyist/side business, but never bit the bullet. It seems like I'd probably have a nervous breakdown if I had a particularly dickish customer. (Really, I'm not suited for employment with humans, but I digress.) Moreover, graphic design is a part of my (absurd amalgamation of a) job. It is something I do indeed get paid for.

So anyway, a few months ago, the wife of one of Mr. Farce's friends - we'll call her Amanda - asked me to help her with the invitations for her eldest's Cinderella-themed third birthday. (As a non-parent, I'm legitimately terrified of the Mommy Wars and the one-ups-manship that comes along with kid parties these days, but whatever.) I agreed, as she was juggling a lot of things, and was then just starting to try to get her party-planning (read: Pinterest-plagiarism) business off the ground.


The process was fun from a design perspective, I'd never done a child-centric thing before, save my SIL's baby shower invites. Now, Amanda micro-managed the shit out of me, hounded me on deadlines (I have a full-time job and was doing this for free), and asked for ABSURDLY persnickety changes throughout the process. At any rate, I ended up creating a piece I was really proud of and she liked. I'm 99% that the three-year-olds gave zero fucks, as three-year-olds are wont to do.

So this morning, I'm perusing her business's website and find that her party theme was featured in a party planning industry magazine. As was my invitation. Not only did she not give me the heads up that my work was published out in the universe - or on her blog/site for that matter, but credit for the design was listed as "a friend," not even "A Farce to be Reckoned With." Had I known, I would have thrown together an LLC or something for promotional purposes. But beyond that, I feel like it's her way of not actually giving credit where credit is due. She never once thanked me for the invites, never mentioned that I had created them, and never acknowledged the hours of time dicking around in Adobe that it took to create. And she is fully aware of how long those things take, she used to work in publishing/advertising.

Mr. Farce's friends are good guys. They are thick as thieves. Their wives have never been particularly welcoming to me, and I find them shallow and materialistic as a whole, but I always thought they'd be nice and courteous and gracious. Amanda is their ring leader, and at age 30, I thought I was well beyond the Mean Girling shit that consumed my teenage years, but now I feel like I've been used professionally and that I cannot make a thing about it because no one else would really understand.

Has anyone else navigated anything like this? What did you do? Should I stand up for myself and risk threatening Mr. Farce's relationship with Amanda's husband?

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