I have a friend who would talks through every movie we go see. Not yelling at the screen, but a constant whispering stream of "Oh I bet he's the killer", "Do you think she's the killer?" "Calling it now, he's been dead the whole time" "Ok, I know how this is going to end, do you want to know?"

Can't you just shut the fuck up and enjoy the movie? Why do you insist on figuring out the end before you get there? Why do you insist on talking me through every single theory you have about what the movie is about while we are in the theater watching it?

If you absolutely must work through the mystery, do it in your head, not out fucking loud.

Yes I am going to see a movie with this person in a few hours. Thankfully another friend is coming who, for heaven only knows what reason, doesn't mind that she does this and will act as a buffer zone. I love that gal but OH MY GAWD SHADDUP AND ENJOY THE MOVIE.