Granted, there was no way for the doctor to know I can't stand the phrase, but the man told me to "make love to [my husband]." Gag me.

My regular doctor is away. He usually says, with a funny/sarcastic/"I know this is awkward" tone, "Ok, so get busy!" Or "Doctor-prescribed sex is the least fun, but humor me."

This dude looks at my chart, and says very seriously, "Pending your blood work, make love to Mr. Q on Sunday and Tuesday nights next week, and come back on Wednesday morning." Ugh. At least he didn't follow it up with my other least favorite phrase, " we can do a post-coital test."