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PIERCINGS! In Which I Detail Poor Impulse Control

Illustration for article titled PIERCINGS! In Which I Detail Poor Impulse Control

There's a funny backstory regarding the first time I got anything beyond my ears pierced. I had my ears done when I was 7 (on Good Friday, at the pediatrician's), second holes done when I was 16, which closed after I switched earrings and got an infection, so I repierced them when I was 19, and the same thing happened, but I had them done for good, once and for all when I was 21. And now wear only white gold or surgical steel.


I had a dream one day when I was 28 that I got my ears pierced with third holes, my nose pierced, and my belly button.

I'd wanted my belly button done for EVER. Since college. I even went to a place once that had a good reputation, and my friend in the area had previously researched, but when my friend and I went, they were closed for the day...moving shops! I was leaving the next day. Bummer. After that, I wanted to wait until my tummy was flatter. I can't even...what. I was maybe 100 lbs back then? I don't know if I thought it should be concave? Whatever.


My mother has a "thing" about body piercing. A younger cousin showed mother her navel ring. Mother says "ugh, Jenna would never do that to me." Sorry mother, but what Jenna does to HER body has NOTHING to do with YOU. I just stared at her and went back to my apartment. Mother thinks it's "slutty." I have a piece of jewelry in my body for my pleasure, and this apparently means I'm going to have all the sex with all the people? Thanks, mother. It's for me and for me alone. #patriarchy.

So back to my dream. I woke up super early, and I NEEDED EVERY ONE OF THOSE PIERCINGS NAO. I got the ears done at the mall, and then went to a tattoo parlor and had my right nostril pierced, and my belly button. Anyone who says nose doesn't hurt is either a fucking liar, has selective memory, or is a FREAK OF NATURE. Fuck, that hurt. Not for long, not at all. But briefly and terribly.


Fast forward to Feb of 2009, six months later. I move in here to this house, and BigStupidDog jumps on me, and his paws slide dooooooown my body, ripping my piercing out. I scream a bit. It heals. I get it redone.

Redone too soon! The scar tissue turned me into Wolverine, and the next piercing popped out like the bullet in Logan's head in X2. Exactly like that. My doctor told me to wait a year or two before trying again.


There was never a point where I could justify spending money like that to make holes in my body, especially if the scar tissue was going to be a dick. Now, I go into the tattoo parlor from time to tome, when I need shit for my nose. My really good nosebone I had for four years got yanked out (by me in my sleep) over Christmas, so I've been sticking cheap temporary ones in there. I need to have one ordered. So I go to the shop today, and order it, as well as a higher quality (than what I'm using) temporary ring. While I'm there, hey, why don't I pierce my navel again?


But you know what? It makes me happy. I said "Jenna? TREAT YO SELF." and I did.


You do not get a picture of mine, as I don't want to take a picture of it. Maybe some day when the swelling is for sure down (I don't think it's swelling much at all, but he said it was a bit puffy when I commented on the placement) and I'm not bloated from having taken salt tablets (YAY LOW BLOOD PRESSURE), but also maybe not.

What do you guys have pierced? Do you have any good and/or funny piercing stories?

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