Or "Why I can't go on Pinterest anymore"
I used to be quite good at throwing a party; I'm a bit of an introvert by nature, but I enjoy planning a party and putting it together. I feel a lot more comfortable with that than with going to a party where I'll only know half the people, and I pride myself at being able to make connections between my disparate social groups and figuring out who from work would get along with which old college friend, etc.
Enter an ever-worsening anxiety disorder, which I'm doing my damnedest to control, and an engagement. I had always pictured a wedding not as my pretty princess day, but the chance to throw one of my awesome cocktail parties (and please note: I am not saying that is not how everyone should approach weddings, that's just how I'd been planning on approaching mine). However, the wedding party I've chosen — really wonderful women and not at all wedding oriented, but seem to have combined to create a sucking vortex of wedding-related planning questions — and my mother are really pushing this "IT'S A SPECIAL DAY AND REQUIRES DIFFERENT CONSIDERATIONS" agenda, and their well-meaning and thoughtful questions have turned me into a bit of a deer in the sparkling-white-Xmas-lights-and-twinkly-candle-centre-piece lights.
And Pinterest, once an excellent respite for my anxiety that just allows me to find knitting patterns and recipes I might like to try, has turned into a minefield of heart palpitations and sweaty palms. Their stupid pin sorting system is imperfect, and I keep stumbling across wedding planning ideas when I'm looking at pictures of places I'd like to travel. ACK!
Also, I tried to figure out a way of phrasing my header that didn't sound like I was marrying my anxiety, but then I decided I kind of liked the implication.