So this month my best friend has been informed that her cancer is back, it’s stage four, treatable, but not curable, and it’s everywhere. Then Saturday my dad, who is my best friend and hero, had massive heart issues (aortal intermural hematoma, afib, and some other thing that is causing swelling, and he has high blood pressure) and was rushed to emergency. He was in CCU for a few days and it was touch and go, and basically they’ve decided that without surgery he will die by tomorrow. They aren’t sure he will live through the surgery, but he definitely won’t live without it, so he’s been transferred to cedars(after fighting ins for 24 hours- I hate ins), and now we are just waiting for the surgery. He’s only 64.

I’m a mess guys. My parents have a complicated relationship- married for over 40 years, but on the rocks the last 10. My dad has gambling issues that he’s been working really hard on for the last 5. My mom is an emotional cheater and is very into $. But the first thing he did in emergency was make amends bc he loves the shit out of that woman and I know she loves him.

The only comfort I have is he is ok with dying. He doesn’t want to die, but he found religion a few years back as part of his recovery and it really helped him. He believes is God wants to take him, then that is that, and he is ok with that. I find comfort in him being at peace with that. But I am a mess. He has said he wants to see all of his grand babies again, but it is what it is. His kids and the oldests grandkids have been to visit him and he’s had time with each of them.

So obviously I’m a mess, and my husband is stuck in Texas trying to get home tonight after his stupid work meeting and I don’t drive and have a 4 month old so I’m going a bit crazy. My bff is my usual sitter, and that’s not the best of ideas right now since she’s sick as hell with her diagnoses- so if you all could distract me with gifs and good news in your lives that’d be great. Good vibes and prayers if that’s your thing also accepted. Not turning any of that down.

Also I may delete this bc that is prob more info than my fam would be comfortable with and I’m pretty sure I have a cousin or two on Jezebel somewhere. Prob not on groupthink, but you never know.