So I’ve been a distant Comtesse the past couple weeks. But I’ve wanted to explain things because I miss guys, though I couldn’t quite bring myself to get to it.

In reverse order of importance...

3) La Petite Comtesse has been weepy and sick the past several days. This has been the opposite of fun.

2) I was on a magical, fabulous, restorative vacation in Antigua (sans kids and sans husband) 4 days prior to that. That was the definition if fun.

1) One week before that and two weeks ago tomorrow, my little brother died of a drug overdose. He was 25. We did not see this coming: he had been clean for more than 3 years and had been doing really, really well. But a few weeks before his death he dipped into his first depressive episode in a while and relapsed for about a week before his accidental death (we only learned these details after—we didn’t know he had relapsed). My family is heartbroken, and I just can’t believe we’ll never all be together again.

Right now, I’m drawing a lot of comfort from just talking about him—he was a beautiful, sweet, very weird, goofy, brilliant person and I want everyone to know it—so I hope you won’t mind if I share a few things here. The words are from FB about a week ago. The first picture is from 2 years ago (Le Petit Comte is in the foreground). The second is of the two of us about 5 or so years ago: he is showing off how much taller he was.

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And clearly not speaking about myself here, but just to remind you guys that GT has THE BEST, kindest, most thoughtful, and wonderful moderators in the world. I shared this news with the Mod Squad a while ago (to give them a head’s up that I’d be out of commission for a bit) and their compassion and support has been invaluable and tremendous. Thanks again, Mods!

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