It's been 6 weeks since my hysterectomy, i'm about to go back to work, and have had sinus infection for 5 weeks and am on 2nd round of antibiotics. I go to doctor to say how come all my lymph nodes are swollen on this one side? This one in my armpit and this one in my chest. She sends me for mammogram and ultrasound 2 days ago. They find "abnormality." But - what? Needs biopsy. Oh, OK, that's stupid, no cancer in my family. It's not even the spot I could feel, another thing entirely. Level of "it looks like cancer" is 40%. My brain said less than half, so it's nothing. Seriously did not sink in for two days. Biopsy is Wednesday. Can't take Advil till after and my head hurts from sinus infection. Still 2 more weeks till I can take a comforting bath. Coping skill system dangerously stressed. She can't take much more of this Captain. Was trying to be all strong and enjoy my wedding anniversary. And not tell anyone at any of my jobs cause I'm just getting back to work and I'm sure I've used up all their patience. Adjuncts don't get sick leave. Had anniversary overnight trip. Had fun, kept my mind off it. Then woke up in the wee hours after we got home freaking terrified and sobbing out loud. My husband is awesome. He wrapped me in electric blanket and sat with me between his legs and leaning on his chest and held me while I cried. It's just too much. Seriously, now this has to happen? Even if it's nothing I did not need to go through this week of anxiety the first week back to work and have to cancel still more lessons to go to appointments. Friday was my anniversary and my last day before the semester starts and - shit shit shit. Please send gifs. I don't know what to do with myself and I'm all out of cope. Thank you.