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Congressman Vance McAllister got caught on camera having a little bit of a makeout session with one of his aides a couple weeks ago. It must have been someone close to him that released the footage and wrecked his whole shit, and I assume he knows who it was. That'd be pretty fucked up if he was looking around at everyone and really had no idea. The case of the "Kissing Congressman" is what they're calling it, and I'm like boo mass media, that name really sucks. Vance just got elected and he's not resigning, but his mistress is out of a job and sounds like she might be out of her house, too. Her husband's been friends with Vance for years and used to work with him at some oil company, and according to public records husband and wife each donated $5,200 to his election campaign. Damn, having your friend bang your wife is bad enough, but cutting him a big fat check for the privilege really takes things to a whole nother level of unhappiness.


Anyway, I was reading an article on CNN about political mistresses and how they tend to suffer as a result of the affair. It's no great shakes for the politicians either, but even when their political careers end up dashed they usually have money and connections to fall back on. The notoriety just doesn't seem to dissipate for the women, and the article makes the point that "Years later, Monica Lewinsky is still "trying" to live a normal life." Missing from the list is Callista Gingrich, another former congressional aide. She had a six-year affair with Newt before he dumped his second wife and moved her up to first lady status. There wasn't any big scandal, so that's probably why she didn't make the list, and I don't want to say anything bad about her because her fixed stare and strangely tilted head absolutely scream reptile alien.

Rielle Hunter was running around with John Edwards during his presidential campaign in 2008, then she had a baby by him and wrote a book about it. There was even this whole soap opera where one of his staffers, some low-rent Doug Stamper type, carried out this stupid charade where he pretended to be the daddy for a while. She's kind of a kook and Edwards has moved on, practicing personal injury law and getting a new girlfriend.


Those stories all suck and are very repetitious. Banging the aide, banging the aide, banging the aide. Bill Clinton is like the exemplar of the horn dog looking to get some from any woman he's regularly alone in a room with, and the rest aren't any better. That's why I have a soft spot in my heart for South Carolina's Mark Sanford, who famously walked the Appalachian Trail for a few days of political theater back in 2011. His mistress wasn't an employee or a subordinate, and they actually had a romantical-sounding first meeting on some sweaty, open-air dance floor in Uruguay. That crazy bastard got reelected to his old job in Congress after being term-limited out of the governor's office, and his girlfriend is now his fiancée. His ex-wife Jenny said it best a while ago:

Sometimes I think it would be nice if he stayed with her because it would make it seem like maybe there was a reason to break the whole family up and go through all this, but it really doesn't bother me one way or the other.

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