CoffeeJingle's post made me think of what I do when sweet slumber is beyond reach. The answer, beyond making myself a stiff drink, is reassure myself with wisdom of questionable veracity (like any responsible adult).

Without further ado, here's the list of recent greatest hits:

1) The number of really bad sunburns I had as a child doesn't necessarily mean that the small dark spot on my arm is skin cancer.

2) I can quit coffee anytime. ANYTIME.

3) When my boss tells me that I don't need to work every weekend that it is not some sort of trap.


4) The small smile I use to acknowledge co-workers in the hall is not off-putting, and that it softens the intensity of the death stare I inherited from my mother.

5) The amount of stifled laughter I had in the creationist museum in Kentucky is not enough to condemn me to eternal damnation.


6) The weird eye-twitchy thing I get sometimes is not some undiagnosed neurological condition, but the product of sleep deprivation and over-caffeination.

7) Not recycling my can from lunch does not make me a horrible environmentalist.

8) My advanced degrees haven't pigeon-holed me personally and professionally.

9) True wisdom is only born through struggle.

10) I don't hate the Patriots because of my ex-boyfriend in Boston. I hate the Patriots (and Tom Brady) because @#^%# the Patriots. And that is not beneath my dignity.


Bonus (for tonight): Sitting in the front row and writing these down on a steno pad is not visibly screwing around during a seminar. This totally passed as looking like I was taking notes.