I know it wasn't up for very long, but you all gave amazing advice and were very supportive and I feel better about the situation now. Plus I was starting to get paranoid about someone finding it and doxxing me.

I'm going to talk to my therapist and figure out a plan of action, and work through all the issues on my side of things that are causing/contributing to the problems. I'm going to stop avoiding it and get my shit together, even if it's scary.

Thank you all so much for being honest and supportive and giving great advice! I promise my next post will be fun instead of stressful. :)