I don't post as much much, now that I'm working (retail+holidays). But, I need some advice/insight.
Here's the deal. As some of you may know, I identify as asexual. But, I've found when I'm intoxicated, I become interested in sex. Male or female, doesn't matter. Certain people in my life pique my interests, but again, only when I'm drunk. Not tipsy, but drunk. When sober, I think of human relations and am pretty 'meh, I don't need that'. But once I'm drunk I guess I become, what's the word? Horny? I don't even know. Anyone have a thought as to why? My therapist thinks I'm prude(she had more clinical words), as a reaction to my past abuse, and the alcohol lowers that wall. But, if I ever want a relationship again, how fair is it to that person that I have to be drunk first? I feel like a weirdo when sober. And it's so out of character for me, that if I do suggest 'funtimes' with someone when I'm drunk, everyone thinks I'm joking. Am I the only person with this issue? I've been to the asexual group online (my drunk brain doesn't know the name), and found little support. I'm feeling lost and confused and that makes me sad. Rose Tyler levels of sad.