Thank you to everyone who talked to me about that teenaged girl with the scary Facebook status. To people who didn't see that, I was worried because I have a teen dad on my Facebook who posted a screenshot of his baby's mother's Facebook that read:
I dont wanna keep Arya* anymore... feels like shes not my daughter... i have no kid.
Because of the wonderful women who come to GT to talk about their Post Partum Depression, this set off serious alarm bells for me. One thing I didn't mention in the previous post was that she deleted it very quickly and denied it, because people were screenshotting the status and passing it to the baby's father (my Facebook friend, about 14/15 years old) as evidence that she was a shitty mom and he should try to take custody.
After advice on my last post, I decided I had to do something, just in case, but before I contacted her someone I was really close to in that community posted a photo of the baby with a happy "this is my great granddaughter!" status. I had no idea they were related! (They may not actually be - she's the type of woman who 'adopts' a lot of troubled youth in that community, in name only, but she's wonderfully supportive when she does this. She was the unofficial 'mom' of a boy I dated.)
Relief!! I can find out if she's doing okay and if people are seeing this for what it is without potentially causing teen drama or upsetting anyone. (One thing I forgot to mention in the previous post is that there has been understandable resistance and resentment from this community in the past when 'big city white saviours' try to tell them about their own experiences.)
So I sent her a message last night:
Claire*! Arya is your great granddaughter? She's so beautiful!!
I was wondering, do you know if her mother is doing okay? Adrian posted a photo of her Facebook status a few days ago and it looked seriously like post partum depression - I have no idea what their context is like, but it was so sad to see someone so young dealing with that, and have it move around Facebook like gossip.
Any idea if she is OK? I hope this isn't nosy, it just stuck with me (apparently she deleted it really fast) and I wasn't sure if a responsible adult knew about it!
The response this morning:
HI ️<3 <3 <3 yes her mom knows & her & I talk to her !! She is just Too Young& now realizing that u have to sacrifice things when u have a child ... Like social activities once in a while I think she will be fine ( just Teen Drama)
... so the good news is, people know about the Facebook status. The bad news is... they think this is trivial? This doesn't really make me feel better (not that this is about me, but I hope you know what I mean) but now going around the great grandmother to the mother would be extra weird.
I'm going to respond with a supportive 'oh, great!' type message, but I would also like to include some PPD resources that she could pass on to the mother (and potentially read herself) with a friendly but appropriately serious mini-summary of PPD. I've been trying to find some PPD resources that are teen friendly, and it is really hard so far - most Google searches turn up with 'scientific study' articles about its prevalence, and/or the marketing seems distinctly for adult women, although I did find that the isolation and social stigma experienced by teen moms makes them even more likely to develop PPD.
I'm going to grab some excerpts from the beautiful PPD pieces that have been written on GT, but they are also very adult. Does anyone know of any PPD resources for teens? She is a Native girl in Canada, so hotlines are only useful if Canadians can use them, and anything specific to Native girls and/or teen moms would be extraordinarily helpful. I was trying to find a blog or something else really relatable, but I'm spoiled with GT's writing style, because they really aren't impressing me.
Thank you for listening to this long thing. If you have any words of advice, or resources, or thoughts of any kind, thank you!! I may not answer super quickly (I'll be in and out of classes all day) but I will respond!
ETA: Sorry, I don't mean to come off like I'm diagnosing her. The status just seems like a solid warning bell that warrants further attention, I don't mean to imply that this IS.PPD, just that she might benefit from knowing other people experience what she may be experiencing. Thank you all for the great advice, I'll be responding soon!
*Not real names