Today is Mr Ivriniel’s maternal Grandfather’s 90th birthday party. It is a two hour drive to the city where he lives. We will be driving past the city where Mr. I’s father lives which is about an hour away from the party site. Yesterday my FiL called and put a guilt trip on Mr I about us carpooling with him.
For those who may have missed it, earlier in the week we discovered that my FiL had had the hare-brained idea to hold an intervention for Mr I at the birthday party. Great, let’s tell the 90 year old man with a heart condition on his 90th birthday that his grandson is an alcoholic, in front of 100 people, many who would either be casual acquaintances, or complete strangers. My MiL quickly shut this idea down. Wh
Because of his earlier harebrained idea though, I really do not want to spend an hour in the car with my FiL, who seems to be on a bit of a controlling tear these days. In addition to deciding that he needs to hold an intervention with his son (who is taking steps to deal with his alcoholism, but is currently struggling with self medicating for underlying issues of anxiety) he has also twice in the last week given Mr. I unsolicited advice about how to deal with the clutter in our house. My own mother doesn’t even comment on our clutter any more. (Even though it drives her insane, as it reminds her of the way her mother kept house.)
Mr. I is also struggling to find new clients for his home business right now, and the last thing he needs is more lecturing from his Dad about his alcohol use (especially given the fact that I am 90% sure his Dad has an alcohol problem) the state of our home, or his father’s take on what he should be doing to get more clients for his business, which is a hot take straight out of 1983. None of the lecturing will help with the underlying anxiety that causes the drinking..
I don’t know for sure that lecturing is his plan, but my gut started screaming “Danger Will Robinson!” The moment I heard he wanted to ride with us. I objected, but told Mr. I it is ultimately his decision as it is his Dad. His reasons for wanting to ride with his Dad? My Dad can be vengeful, and if I need him for something he might be difficult. Pointing out to Mr. I that he is currently the only child on speaking terms with his father didn’t change his feelings on that.
I checked to make sure his sister has room in her van to take us home if he makes an ass of himself either on the way there or during the party. When I did that I discovered that he had also asked his ex wife to carpool with him, but she’s refused. She doesn’t even know why he is going to the party. She doesn’t understand why her step mother invited him. The only thing I can figure is my MiL is having little to do with him these days and this is an excuse to see her, and ABiL and Niece, since he’s not really talking to ABiL either.
The fact that he tried to get his ex to go with him first could suggest he is just looking to carpool. Or maybe he was trying to include her in the lecturing? I dunno.
Oh, and get this: Yesterday evening, ASiL contacted our MiL asking her if she would bring nibbles for the party today. And then casually mentioned that 100 people are coming.
So, I will be pasting my smile on, and hoping for the best.