Don't got no PhD/Just a BA, homie/However, bow down and to the empress/I be the badass of the thesis!

Yes, I've been procrastinating my speech. But for a good cause. An old friend is writing a paper-I'm very stoked on her topic-and offered to help her my (free, but I really should charge because I'm a "poor-ass" college graduate) editing services.

I've been professor-izing without a license since I was 14. Maybe even 10. Helping my peers understand every topic except math and foreign languages. I actually can't do those-I have a piece of paper that says I literally cannot process them. But I am...the thesis whisperer.

Back to her paper. Love this kid. She has great descriptions and insights, and had a pretty kickass start to a thesis. I just helped her structure it a bit better. I think she's gonna rock this.

I got it so on lock that twice in the same class I was recognized for it. Once for a brief "journal" entry, and the other where the professor who was was so excited to meet me in person, she freaked out like a fangirl. Yeah, I get the writers block, but I get it together at the last minute. Recently this happened...because of this. Holy shit, I brag a lot. Super sorry. Hope I got the links right...

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I like doing this type of thing. I crank these things out off the top of my head.

And...that's enough. Brag-a-thon over.

But I need to get my ass in gear-this speech is getting off to a good start, but I need to actually finish it...and practice. And maybe add some more jokes.