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Welcome To The Bitchery

My friend is planning a party bus for her birthday tomorrow, and as per usual with everyone we hang out with, she can’t nail down a headcount to get a decent estimate of how much money to collect from anyone.

There are enough reasonable people who, when we decide we want to attend something, just block it out in our schedule and decide that is our plan. But everyone else always pulls some FOMO bullshit. “Maybe” is inexcusable for THE DAY BEFORE something that requires you to decide. And “maybe” can’t be counted on as “no” with these people! Based on experience, I know that these “maybe” people don’t have anything more valid to help them decide other than “if I feel like it.”

Like, it’s tomorrow. If you can’t just make a plan for your day TOMORROW, get it together. Get your life together. Stop putting everyone you know on the back burner at the same time. Just say no if you won’t come. It’s fine. Just do it. Just tell someone and stick to it.


Based on oh, like, a decade of experience with these potheads we hang out with, what’s going to happen is the following:

  • A few people who are committed will no-show and not answer their phone for a few days. Then they will have valid excuses like “I fell asleep” “My phone died” or “I forgot.”
  • Despite my friend saying “you can bring whomever you want, but just tell me ahead of time so I get a big enough bus”, I can think of three separate people who will probably show up with whatever person they are hooking up with right now.
  • There will be at least 2 people who don’t make it to the bus, and will be texting 3 hours into the ride asking “did y’all leave yet? I can’t find the bus.”
  • There will be a slew of people who show up unannounced.

(from experience, I know that social anxieties can be part of this in many circumstances. I feel very confident this is not the issue with this HUGE group of people)

(if Violet Baudelaire or MMMLeftovers are listening, they’ll probably relate based on the fact these are common characteristics of New Orleanians)

End rant. Feeling better now.

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