My boyfriend’s friend recently proposed to his long-time girlfriend in a very public venue. My boyfriend showed me the video on Youtube and, of course, it was adorable. At the same time, I made sure to voice my personal preference on public proposals: “Please never propose to me in public.”
My boyfriend was taken aback, even though I’m pretty sure I’ve said this to him a number of times: “Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to feel pressure to say yes.”
“I wouldn’t propose to you if I wasn’t sure you would say yes.”
I have no fears that my boyfriend would propose to me in public, because he’s always been respectful of my feelings, and because neither of us are at a place where proposals are even remotely in the future. It’s clear, however, that he doesn’t personally understand my aversion to it. When I said, “I want it to be something personal between us,” I think he seemed to get it a little better.
For me, a public proposal would make me feel uncomfortable and pressured. I don’t want that spotlight on me. I want it to be intimate and I want to know for a fact that I agreed because I wanted to, not because I would embarrass my significant other if I happened to say no.
Still, I get that it’s not that way for everyone. The public proposal that I watched was sweet and touching and it was clear that both parties were very happy.