And of course want for myself.

People who can talk about a serious thing and manage to keep their tone at the appropriate level of seriousness. They don’t minimize it. They aren’t detached.

e.g I made a complaint a co-worker, they were super awesome about it and their tone went along with how they took it seriously. Me on the other hand was so scared of asking, I minimized and made it seem like no big deal. I was ready to be brushed off. I get I’ve been culturally ingrained to placate and minimize, and it’s a hard thing to undo. I loved that she immediately took it seriously, and spoke about it the way I wanted too, but couldn’t. 

I want to learn to do that.