I forgot rubber bands when we visited one port on a very hot day, so I put my daughter’s hair up in little buns.

For the rest of the day she ran around, telling people that she loved balls on her head. We got looks.


HM: Did you pack snacks?

Me: No. Why would I do that?

HM: What if there’s nothing to eat on the ship?!

Me: I think you’ve forgotten how cruises work.


HM: Mom, what is this?

Me: I don’t know. Pack up. We have to go.

HM: But what is it?

Me: I don’t know. Pack up. We have to go.

HM: But what is it?!

Me: I have no idea. Pack. Up. Now.

HM: But what—

Me: CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE FOUND THE LIMIT OF MOMMY’S MEDICATION. PACK UP. NOW.

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At which point, Mr. Cunning took over her packing, trying really hard to suppress his laughter. “The limit of mommy’s medication” is now a family catch-phrase.


JT: I’m going to get some ice cream.

Me: It’s not even ten! You can’t have ice cream yet!

JT: *stares pointedly at my bloody mary*

Me: ...Okay, point taken. Go get some ice cream.


JT: *messes with phone* Why won’t Pandora work?

Me: You can’t get data here.

JT: Oh. When can I get data again?

Me: In eight days.

JT: *horrified look*


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It was a great vacation. If you have kids, I highly recommend a cruise. We basically didn’t see the boy past day one unless we were in port, and the girl loved both the solo attention and the on-ship camp.