(No MP please, kthnxbai.) I won't share/link the comment via Kinja as someone pointed out earlier that could be interpreted as inciting a pile-on. I made a pretty out-there comment on the MP article concerning stats of how many single people there are in the US. It's a pretty dark thing that's been at the back of my mind for a few years now, but hey, the truth will set you free. But I'm REALLLY INTERESTED by the responses from men that the comment got, so I'm going to copy-pasta everything rather than Kinja it.
Two of them were made by burners specifically for the purpose of commenting to me. So they could be from longstanding commenters who just felt uncomfortable saying this on their "general use" accounts.
Here's my comment. Like I say, it goes to a pretty dark and awful place so you've been warned. I thought the smiley at the end was an indicator this is all grim and awful but a bit tongue in cheek as well, but I guess not. It... escalates quickly.
I'm probably going to be single for the rest of my life. Most of the time I'm ok with that. As I get older my angst becomes less "nobody loves me waah" and more a concern for practicalities - namely that being elderly and alone is a fucking horrifying prospect.
But if I decide suddenly that I SIMPLY COULD NOT EXIST alone, and I'm willing to grab the chance to have security and social validation in exchange for hating myself a bit for the rest of my life, I do have an out.
There is a secret room with a glass case and a red button and sign saying IN CASE OF DIRE EMERGENCY PRESS RED BUTTON.
I'm an Asian woman.
Which means that if I get desperate enough to make the compromise, I could PROBABLY find a man who'd accept me as a life partner. He would be white, of a certain age and mindset. All he would require of me is I keep his house, have sex with him when the mood takes him, maybe have his children, and agree with everything he says. All of the things about me that are why I'm single wouldn't matter, because ALL he would care about is that I'm Asian.
In exchange I would have security and the social validation of being half a couple and therefore a Real Person as far as society is concerned. I wouldn't be happy but hey, happiness and emotional security aren't entitlements. They're privileges. If you get them that's amazing and good for you, but the rest of us work with what we've got.
I keep telling myself that I will never get this desperate, I will never need to go to the secret room and open the case and press the red button. Who knows what the future holds. Anything could happen.
But the thing is, I'm in my early 30s now.
I've got about another five or six years before the red button loses a lot of it's functionality.
I will never be desperate enough to press the red button.
It got several stars, and it got these comments from male commenters. I won't give their names, to avoid concerns about inciting a pile-on.
That's one of the hidden privileges of being a woman: if you ever mess up your life you can always set up shop in someone else's. Men, especially mentally ill men, don't have that chance.
You are the devil.
I'd ask if you were my ex, but you're older than me, so I guess you're not her. It terrifies me that there are at least two of you in this world.
Everybody, stock up on canned goods and bottled water and matches. This is clearly a sign of the coming apocalypse.
Speaking as a white man who generally prefers Asian women:
Holy God I hope I never meet you. That your backup plan is to attempt to trap a husband into a loveless marriage using your body as collateral - that you would have kids that you clearly don't want to have or would give a crap about...
I mean, that's three lives(not including your own!) you're planning to ruin all for your own selfish purposes. That's appalling. On so many levels. My only hope is that your future hubby sees through your charade long enough to get away from you before children get involved in your race to hell.
I feel sorry for you. I beg of you to rethink your life.
I'm not denying my comment was a very dark and uncomfortable one. But is it just me or are the latter two of these especially reading some kind of malice into my comment that isn't really there?
I expect a LOT of single people who are subject to fetishising for whatever reason have this kind of thought from time to time, even just in jest.
Ugh. Our society is so gross sometimes. There's so much value placed on "Happily ever after", and so much emphasis placed on "family" as being the only truly viable and useful social unit. It's really not surprising that some people - and imma go out on a limb and say might even be a LOT of people - who are worried that "happily ever after" isn't likely have probably morbidly wondered what "unhappily ever after" options they've got going for them. Which is really grim and unfortunate, because it's really wrong and stupid that there's so much pressure not to be alone, that being with someone at the expense of personal happiness should even be countenanced as an option, for a single minute.
And FYI second dude, I'm not the devil. If I'm anything I'm Cthulhu. See the tentacles?