HAHAHAHA I remember the days when I was all "oh, I'm so sad, my breakup is the worst." Those were all days before yesterday, when my boss yelled at me for asking for more help/support for my role in the office.

A few months ago the guy sticks me in juvenile court, and I do it even though I wasn't hired for juvenile court. He doesn't tell me that the schedule is unpredictable. I constantly hear about how juvie is a joke, a waste of time, not really practicing law, etc., from my colleagues. When I make an appointment for my kitty at the vet and tell juvie to hold off on something until the afternoon, they put it in the morning anyway, causing my bitchy colleagues to text the entire office about how I'm making people cover for me even though I made clear to the court I had an appointment.

I'm constantly pulled away from this emotionally taxing job for duties in superior court, which involves sitting and doing nothing while other people conduct trials (in most offices, trial partners split duties), and worrying about how to take care of my own clients, who are left with my colleagues who think juvie is a joke.

Now there's a new code that appoints me to every case. I went to my boss to ask for a plan about it - he berated me for thinking that it's more work (which everyone else, including the court's admin staff and my assistant, will readily testify it is) to meet with every single juvenile case in the county, because all I have to do is "get them to waive" the right to my services so my caseload won't increase. Get them to waive? Children barely understand what a lawyer is; many of the parents don't grasp their rights either. Oh, and the conversation about "getting them to waive" doesn't take two seconds. I'm explaining to children and often uneducated parents what an attorney is. Also, getting them to waive goes against what I stand for as a public defender.

I applied for something else and am waiting to hear. The first interview went great. I am praying. My workload is about to skyrocket and my boss becomes hostile when I ask for any kind of help - I am not an experienced enough attorney to know how to handle major process changes without wading into ethical hot water and abandoning what I set out to do - protect the rights of those accused of crimes, not steamroll them.

So today I've gotten no further than my bed with Kitty and a marathon of Raising Hope. I just can't. I'm not ready to be social yet, I feel like everything is going to shit at once, and I just want to hide in here until I HAVE to go in on Monday and face my new caseload. At least my assistant understands and will be there every step of the way.