Update from today. He was acquitted of all crimes. I'm going to go practice some self care, and then I will share all details with this amazing community. I cannot begin to articulate my appreciation of all of you.
tl;dr for those who don't wanna wade through my ramblings: Finished day 1 of my trial against an ex who sexually assaulted me while I was sleeping. I am hopeful that the jury will find him guilty tomorrow. And I totally thought of my lovely GT community when he cried the entire time he was on the stand. I slipped a note to my mom (who was sitting with me) that said "#MaleTears". Love you guys.
So, I just wanted to write up a quick update of the first day of my trial I had today.
2 years ago in July, I was sexually assaulted by my boyfriend who I lived with at the time. After pressing criminal charges against him, a grand jury indicted him with two class A felonies and a class B felony. I can't remember the specific charges, but I believe it's Sodomy I and Sexual Assault I and III? Again, there's so much going on that I can't remember those specifics.
A little background on the ex: his dad is an attorney in a neighboring county. His uncle is one of three district court judges in the county the assault took place. Their family friend is one of the three circuit court judges. He is the presiding judge for said county.
Both my mom and stepdad are attorneys in another county here, which is about an hour and a half away from the city I live in. However, before they moved they were practicing attorneys in the neighboring county to where the actual assault took place. Needless to say, there are a lot of conflicts within the two counties that are close to one another. So, the case was picked up by an out-of-county deputy DA and an out-of-county judge. I'm really glad for that, because my ex's family is so engrained in the justice system in the county the assault happened that I was worried there would be some kind of bias.
I'm well aware that I have an edge as a witness and victim. I'm a nice, white woman with a good job and a nice vocabulary. I'm impressive under stress and pressure, and hold up well even under some pretty shitty circumstances (aka, being cross fucking examined by his ass hole attorney). I talked about this with the victim assistance representative who was with me all day today, and we talked about how I feel so terrible to have these things going for me, in a way. And that I wish justice was blind, and all women were comfortable enough to come forward with their crimes. But alas, that is not the case. I have a guilt about this that I can't shake.
Today I testified, as well as my mother, the detective who took my statement (who is the greatest officer I have ever dealt with), and the court stenographer from the restraining order hearing we had a few months after the assault 2 years ago.
Anyway - this is getting long and I don't want to get too into detail before it's all over. I'm hopeful that the testimony from everyone today was helpful, and that the jury saw through my ex's testimony and #MaleTears. OH YEAH, HE CRIED THE WHOLE TIME HE WAS ON THE STAND. His attorney basically wanted to paint the picture of, "Look at him! he's such a nice white male! He's a recent college graduate! He's a great citizen!" etc. Never mind the fact he admitted, UNDER OATH, two years ago during the RO hearing that he in fact, yes, stuck his dick in my mouth while I was sleeping for sexual pleasure. But WHITE MALE TEARS AMIRITE?
The best part is the slut shaming and victim blaming his attorney is doing. He and my ex were scoffing and laughing while I gave my testimony, which at the end of the day only looks bad for THEM because the jury was definitely watching and listening.
Thank you for being a community I can share this with. I never have to worry someone is going to ask, "well was he drunk?" or "what were you wearing?" because you guys ROCK AND I LOVE YOU.