You guys, you guys, you have to share some of your best generated random statuses.
Edited to add link because I'm a dumbass.
Here are some of mine:
I must be a huge amount of unspecified gender from an undocumented worker in Iowa.
If anyone is made illegal, abortions would still do
I must follow my fear, I will wait for the ability to summon pigeons.
I'm compiling a bunch of them to sort through and organize a poem from them.