My stomach is still unraveling from this, but here's what went down:
My husband posted a rape joke he found on Reddit to his Facebook page. Two of his friends rightly tore him down and he removed it, this was before I woke up thins morning, he told me about it later. But then made a post along the lines of "if you don't like a joke, just move on" and they rightly ripped into him on that one as well. His brother got in there and got all mansplainy and free-speechy, but (I love these women) they were not having any of that.
My husband briefed me on all this when he was getting ready for work (he works nights) and we ended up fighting about it, him getting defensive, me trying to explain why it's not 'just a joke' for so many women. He left without saying goodbye. I'm pretty sure his defensiveness was coming from guilt and shame. He has since posted an apology:
"I tried to make a joke and it was not funny. I do not have the perspective to make that joke anyway. I realize that now. That is why i deleted the post. I sincerely apologize. Not an 'if you were offended' apology. I mean, it was a shitty thing to say and a shitty way to say it. I am sorry. I was wrong."
I really hope what we were saying sunk in. I likened this joke to a white guy making a n***** joke, I'm thinking he got the perspective analogy there. I love my husband, but sometimes this shit runs deep. I have less hope for his brother, who is still mansplaining away.