Arbitrary John Barrowman picture because John Barrowman.

Over the years I've collected quite the range of reviews from students.

My lowest rated year was filled with **** meaning that the swear words were deleted (e.g Stupid *****). I've wondered why hand me back a sheet basically filled with **** which isn't constructive criticism but largely anonymous yelling. Not helpful and to me comes off as harassment rather than an evaluation.

And there's always the person who checks "never" in every box which for the most part is lies.

So here's a list of the most useless and nonsensical evaluations I have received from students.

Note: I typically teach a 80 person lecture.

****

What a ******* ****

She talks and then leaves

I wasted my ******* time with that stupid ******* ****

I ******* hate group work.

Talks, leaves, boring

She just talks at us!!!! (Me: What? Ummm what did you expect from a lecture?)

There is no content in this course

She's always late. (Me: I was late once in 7 years.)

Never gives help (me- Did you ever ask for it?)

She never answers any of my questions and then told me to look something up (Me: They had asked 12 questions in 1 class, on the 12th I told them to look it up)

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She doesn't pay attention to us as individuals. (Me: And I don't know your name either snow flake)

She's never available outside of class. (Me: You never ask and the college doesn't provide me with either an office or pay me to be on campus. I also list hours when I am on campus. No one shows up.)

She doesn't have any class participation! (Me: I do, but none of you talk.)

She uses every excuse to yell at us for no reason! (Me: Because you were talking through lecture and harassing a colleague is a reason)

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....

So remind me.. What is the purpose of these evaluation?

Admittedly useful advice I've received:

Speaks too fast (Me: Guilty! There is wayyyyyy too much content in this class)

Needs to hand back assignments promptly. (Me: Yup)

Could use trigger warnings on certain sections (Me: Yup, gonna be in the updated Course sheet)

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Could use regular review. (Me: Yup, I've added that and it works well to sum basic concepts)

This class might be too difficult for ESL and/or deaf students (Me: Yes, I've tried to add more information to slides and try really hard to work with my translators.)

Doesn't post course notes: (Me: Yes, and I never will because you'll never attend my class again and it's not an online course.)

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What evaluations have you received from students?