I used to never be good having female friends. I've apparently gotten better at it through group therapy, maturity and practice but things still stump me.
An old friend of mine and I have just started awkwardly communicating. She and I have seen some tough times. She got to see the drunken craziness behind the Master of Cermemony's mask of a guy I was trying to date (we weren't dating but we definitely weren't NOT dating) and she saved me from sad studio apartment living at a time when I was knee deep in intensive group therapy. There were other victories as we each struggled through our own mid/late 20s.
Something happened that changed my world and the friendship ended.
4 years later and now awkward re-communication.
I recently found out through a different source that something bad happened to her since we stopped talking. When I heard, I directly into Friend Hulk: SOMEONE HURT FRIEND? HULK SMASH THAT GUY!
In addition to the anger:
more specifically on that list:
The difficult (and perhaps inevitable and adult) part is that I don't know if she wants, needs or cares anymore for my feels/gifs. She's a fucking lion (at least appears to be) of a strong woman and I feel silly/defensive of sharing these feelings with her/for her.
Funny/unfortunate thing: I had written to her a couple of times trying to start up contact or see where things were between us over the years. Especially before my wedding. Apparently, I had the wrong email address. [gif of feels going into sinkhole] :(
With guy friends, this never happened but DAMNIT ADULTHOOD! You had to throw along complicated emotions and situations at me!
Not sure if this all made sense but I needed to get it out of my head. Have you ever made up with a friend after a long time? Or felt like giving comfort to someone you weren't sure needed that comfort?