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Like 80% of the time I date someone, they eventually say things to me like "You deserve better" or "You're better than me" "You're too good for me" etc. I sometimes feel it is a cop out, but then I think these guys just have self-esteem issues which also sometimes leads to them wanting to put me down to make themselves feel better. I had to figure out that this has absolutely nothing to do with me; unfortunately, this took me a long time to figure out.

I used to constantly wonder what was wrong with me that I couldn't hold on to someone and it always made me feel like a failure. Half of the time I would get emotionally abused, neglected, or just manipulated and treated badly in general. Then I used to think about why it is I constantly attract these types of people and why I feel attracted to them. I think these guys want someone to make them feel better and I, with my low self-esteem, appreciated the attention and sometimes went about trying to "fix" them (not in a bitchy way, but in a "she wants to save the world" kind of way).

I don't think I am doing this so much anymore, because when it happens I stop it and move on. It is taking a lot of effort to try to not choose these types of people anymore but it's hard. Being attracted to certain kinds of people and having them be attracted to me has just created more drama than I ever needed. Again, this change of trying to be better about choosing these types of men have been things I've worked on since my "dating journey". It's hard, but I'm trying.


Do you have any dating patterns that you have noticed? They don't have to necessarily be bad things, but things you notice you have done in the past or have been doing lately. I guess am the ultimate "nice girl" that does not attract the best men for me.

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