My SO manages a bar, which has been closed for renovations for a few weeks and will probably be closed another week or two. So he’s been, essentially, on a paid vacation. I should be happy for him, right? HE’S NOT DOING ANYTHING. I have never been less attracted to him. I know a lot of this is unfair on my part, but I just have to let it out.
I’m not having an evopsych moment, wondering whether my Almighty Provider is virile enough to put strong babies in me. It’s not about working. It’s just about helping.
I finally understand my mother always griping at us to “be productive” when we would lazy around. I finally get it. She hated us for being so lazy.
But he’s just not doing ANYTHING - none of the millions of projects around the house he wants to do, exercising - nothing. I cannot tell you how unattractive it is to me, when I come home from work and he’s in his underwear playing video games, and blinks and is like, “wow you’re home early” AND I’M NOT. IT’S JUST THAT LATE.
If I’m like, “so....I worry about you not doing anything” he perks up and says, “my mental health has never been better! Don’t worry about me - I feel amazing!” I BET YOU DO! What am I supposed to say? Nag him about this? I know it’s temporary but going on week 4 I’m starting to lose it.
Normally, he is the main housekeeper/grocery shopper (I still do most cooking). This is because I am the breadwinner. That arrangement is perfect for me - I’m much better at working than keeping house. But, in this extreme unlimited vacation, he’s just given up. It’s hard for me to be like, UM, WHY AINT YOU CLEANIN THE HOUZE? because that seems unfair, but...I’m working a lot.
If I ask him to do something, he enthusiastically agrees, and then maybe does half of it, or forgets. He has a list of tasks to complete to plan our wedding and he has done none of them. I don’t want to be the manager! I’m already a manager all damn day, delegating and analyzing and making lists. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. DO IT.
Normally, he is a productive human. And I get it - if I got a paid staycation, I’d spend a solid week fucking around. But enough is enough!
Normally, he cooks one or two meals a week, and I do the rest. In the past few weeks, he has not cooked one meal, except when, on Monday, I was exasperated and I was like I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO DEAL WITH THIS, YOU NEED TO BE IN CHARGE OF DINNER OR WE’RE STARVING where he put leftovers I cooked on a salad. While that’s not inherently bad, that’s essentially what we always do for lunches and then we don’t have lunch food left...so it doesn’t help.
Pray for me, lord jayzus, that he goes back to work soon so I don’t murder him. I want him to turn back into the functional human being I had no issues living with. It’s like I have a slob roommate.
::this rant has been a production of: unfair requirements that HML bottles up and then talks about on GT::
Unrelated: I’m about to try out grocery delivery!