Hey folks, so I have been thinking a lot lately about an issue I've dealt with my whole life. It's hard to complain to my IRL friends because, as you'll see in a minute, it can come across as a BIG humblebrag. But stay with me til the end, please?
So I have an insanely, insanely fast metabolism. I can eat anything in any quantity and still have little to no body fat. Now, because I'm also only 5'2" with a small frame, that means that I'm very tiny—I rarely scrape triple digits in the weight category. (And yes, I've had my thyroid tested probably 989709 times and it's perfectly normal).
While I'm sure a lot of women work out because they genuinely enjoy it and enjoy the health benefits, I also feel that a majority work out to stay in shape (or, at the very least, that's why they START working out). I've never had that as a motivation; if anything I'm a little afraid of losing more weight. I'm embarrassed of my little chicken legs and the 'you look so young!' comments I get from occasional asshole strangers or my own friends based largely on my size.
However I also couple that lack of working out with a diet that is probably double the average 22 year old female's caloric intake. Possibly double a 22 year old male's caloric intake. It's become part of my self-identity, how I'm a tiny little thing who can eat like a big man. It amuses my friends. I take pride in my ability to eat an entire pizza, or 2 burgers. I once ate 2 chipotle burritos. (I think part of why I do it is to stop anyone from thinking I have an eating disorder before they can even begin to wonder).
But now...well, I've started to realize that I've trained my body to NEED that much food. I can hardly go 2 or 3 hours without a meal. Given that it doesn't help me fill out my chicken legs, I don't really need to be eating this much. But I love food—especially unhealthy food. I usually eat at least 3 or 4 double cheeseburgers a week.
But my family has a history of terrible cholesterol, and I also think my diet is why I feel so lethargic and need SO much sleep. I really want to change my diet and start eating healthier and less food.
Do any of you that have dieted successfully have suggestions on how to motivate yourself to eat better? The catch being, in my case, motivation like "I can fit in to my old jeans" or "my friends all say I look like I've lost so much weight" are not gonna cut it for me.
Lastly, I just wanna say that I completely understand that I have thin privilege. I don't feel like I have to diet because that's what society expects of me. I have choices in clothing because the fashion world actually acknowledges me. There are no snickers behind my back when I'm in a tight outfit in public. I don't have to deal with the awful way society treats overweight women. Diets aren't being forced on me, no unsolicited suggestions by colleagues or strangers. I am lucky.
But I also still want to alter my diet, and I hope some of you lovely ladies have some recommendations. Again, less about foods and more about how to have goals and motivate myself when weight loss isn't a yardstick to measure progress.
ETA: Also, as I mentioned above, I'm not motivated to work out because I feel like, well, I look like someone who works out. I don't play any sports or uh....really do anything physical other than live in a city and walk a decent amount. I guess finding motivation to exercise would be nice too if anyone has suggestions for that but I'm very busy with work/life so I think it's easier for me to start by correcting my eating and then focus on working out later? Really fixing one or the other would work though.
I have to admit, I am also jealous of the social aspect of working out (I don't find the physical aspect particularly appealing as I don't work out and have that 'drive') but I feel like it comes up a lot as a topic. Meet someone new and they're training for a marathon...what do I say to that? "Uh, yesterday I walked from my couch to the fridge twice?". Plus my friends take spin classes together or go on runs....I feel almost like I have to lie on OKCupid because so many guys seem to value a girl who likes to work out, or at the very least it makes a good opening topic.
ETA2: My mom's metabolism didn't even start to slow down (it's still fast now) until she was a bit past 40 so it's possible I wont have the weight motivation for another 20 years! I'd like to bef healthier before that.