Poor rich people. Not only are these ragtag group of superheroes suffering persecution like the Jews in Nazi Germany they are subjected to PUBLIC BEATINGS!!!! Worst of all, this anger is clearly misdirected when it is clearly the fault of women for raising such terrible children/rich people. Now, their safe space, a secret society/fraternity called Kappa Beta Thi, had been infiltrated by a filthy commoner, a subhuman (journalist).
Here's a list of the luminaries that are forced to meet in secret to carry out their heroic deeds, including AIG CEO Bob Benmosche, Wall Street superlawyer Marty Lipton and Alan "Ace" Greenberg (the former chairman of Bear Stearns), New York City's Mayor Michael Bloomberg, former Goldman Sachs chairman John Whitehead, hedge-fund billionaire Paul Tudor Jones) the most victimized of the bunch like Lehman Brothers CEO Dick Fuld, Bear Stearns CEO Jimmy Cayne, former New Jersey governor and MF Global flameout Jon Corzine. Also in attendance were then-Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit, BlackRock CEO Larry Fink, Home Depot billionaire Ken Langone, Morgan Stanley bigwig Greg Fleming, and JPMorgan Chase vice chairman Jimmy Lee.
In fear of persecution, new inductees had to don disguises of leotards and gold-sequined skirts, with costume wigs or dress in drag. The mood was surprisingly light given recent circumstances, as they mostly told each other jokes and watched dramatic plays reenacting their feats. Some highlights here from the article
-The jokes ranged from unfunny and sexist (Q: "What's the biggest difference between Hillary Clinton and a catfish?" A: "One has whiskers and stinks, and the other is a fish") to unfunny and homophobic (Q: "What's the biggest difference between Barney Frank and a Fenway Frank?" A: "Barney Frank comes in different-size buns").
-....broke into their musical finale: a parody version of "I Believe," the hit ballad from The Book of Mormon, with customized lyrics like "I believe that God has a plan for all of us. I believe my plan involves a seven-figure bonus."
-performed a bizarre two-man comedy skit. Mulrow was dressed in raggedy, tie-dye clothes to play the part of a liberal radical, and Henry was playing the part of a wealthy baron. They exchanged lines as if staging a debate between the 99 percent and the 1 percent. ("Bill, look at you! You're pathetic, you liberal! You need a bath!" Henry shouted. "My God, you callow, insensitive Republican! Don't you know what we need to do? We need to create jobs," Mulrow shot back.)
-one of the last skits of the night was a self-congratulatory parody of ABBA's "Dancing Queen," called "Bailout King."
The worst part of all of this? The Kappa Beta Phi's offered to help out this disgusting journalist, and he refused it. They begged and pleaded :
"Yeah, the people in this group could be very helpful," Lebenthal chimed in. "If you could just keep their privacy in mind."
but he went and published it anyways. That asshole. You can read about it here.