The question is: How do I firmly, yet sensitively tell my cousin to keep me out of this? Preferably via text.

Players: Me, my SIL (we'll call her Sis) and my cousin (we'll call her Cuz)

History: Sis and Cuz had a falling out over Mother's Day plans earlier this year. Cuz flipped out, made a big deal over it all and things have been weird between them although they have each been to one anothers' houses since then. Didn't involve me although I was still affected b/c certain family members were held as collateral and didn't attend Mother's Day as a result of Cuz's actions. Sis was just telling me last week that things are fine between them. Turns out, they're not.

[Side Note: I fully acknowledge that I am squarely on the side of logic, rational-thinking and non-drama. And one player in this has basically worn out all her capital with me.]

Present: Get a text late last week from Cuz asking if I can bring back a baby item she lent me. Hmm. I could swear that I gave that back months ago... "No", she insists. She doesn't have it. If I find it, great, b/c she offered it to someone, but no big deal if I don't. But "I should check with Sis to make sure I didn't lend it to her." "But I didn't lend it to Sis", I am sure of this, b/c "it wasn't mine to lend out", I say. "Check with her anyway", insists Cuz. Weird, but okay. I gotta track this thing down, it's not a cheap item and I feel responsible until I determine that I'm not the one who has lost it.


Saturday, I see Sis and ask about the baby item and she says, "Yeah, I have it. Does she need it back? Cuz gave it to me. You guys gave it back to her and she turned around and said I should take it in case we have another. She can have it back."

Yeah! Mystery solved! I didn't lose the expensive baby item! I text Cuz to let her know that Sis has it. The ball is in her court. I'm out. *mic drop*


And then... the bullshit texts:

Cuz: "Great, now how do I get it back?"

Me: "Uh, you call or text my brother/SIL and ask them for it. They can bring it Christmas Eve."


Cuz: "Can you ask them to do it?"

Me (already sensing manipulation and getting bent out of shape): "I'll forget."

Cuz: "Please, I'm swamped."

So how do I shut this bullshit down? She can't fucking text my brother/SIL to ask for something back that she lent them? She wants me to be the go-between? Fuck that noise. I am so irritated by this. I'm done. It's been years of her machinations to get her way. And it's always bullshit like this. She's always got some problem going on with someone in the family. My SIL drew the short straw this year but I'm sorta feeling bold and volunteering to take up the mantle of #1 on Cuz's Shit List 2014. Yes, I'm picking this battle. It would be so easy to text my Bro/SIL and then my job is done. But you know what, I don't want to. My cousin is not too swamped to text them. Hell, she should have done it instead of replying to me with why I should do it. Mind you, my SIL thinks they're cool. So any drama or conflict is completely one-sided.


Right now, I'm leaning towards forgetting and when my cousin doesn't get back the item, I can pull out my phone, pull up the conversation and say, "I told you I would forget!"

I'm just not interested in helping her be petty and ridiculous. Also, I'm no one's fucking errand girl. YOU picked this fight months ago, now YOU can lay in your bed.


Am I being unreasonable?